Have you ever felt like your body failed you? Imagine being told that it was normal to have an abnormal cycle in your teenage years. You get married, and those symptoms continue. Imagine trying to get pregnant and you keep having negative pregnancy tests month after month. Today’s guest Shakeena Brantley shares her journey with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome also known as PCOS and how she felt like her body failed her throughout her journey to motherhood. Shakeena experienced two failed IUIs after her PCOS diagnosis and turned to her faith in God to help her through those deep dark moments. This episode is for you to listen to if you have ever felt like your body failed you on your journey to motherhood. This episode is also for those who have been diagnosed with PCOS and how there is faith in infertility.
Shakeena Brantley’s Bio
Mrs. Shakeena is the founder and CEO of Saving Sarah – a leading-edge, fertility support organization. Saving Sarah is a company which combines faith and Clinical knowledge producing amazing results. Shakeena has obtained her Bachelor of Science degree in Social Psychology from Florida Atlantic University, Boca Raton and her Master Degree in Social Work from Florida International University, Miami FL. She obtained her License in 2014 as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker.
Shakeena believes one of the most sacred elements of womanhood is the act of giving birth to a child. Like so many other women, Shakeena Brantley learned that this cherished right of hers was threatened by infertility. It was through her own pain that God planted her purpose. Shakeena desired that no woman should have to endure this alone.
This fertility advocate aspires to equip women with the tools, faith , and support needed to survive infertility. Shakeena also speaks to women on several platforms at local agencies and organizations. She is married to her college sweetheart and God-fearing husband and their union is blessed with 3 beautiful kids.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY TO MOTHERHOOD? WHAT OBSTACLES HAVE YOU OVERCOME?After a few months of abnormal periods and months of no period in my teenage years. My mother and I went to a gynecologist to see what was going on, hoping to figure out why I was not having a normal cycle or any cycle at that. Amenorrhea was my diagnosis and that meant the absence of a cycle. When the doctor said that I had amenorrhea. It didn’t bother me too much at that time as I was young and was preoccupied with living my life.
Fast forward, I am now married, in my career field of choice and we decided to start a family. After deciding it was time in the back of my mind I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. After trying for a few months and not getting anywhere and having negative pregnancy tests, I said, let’s go to my gynecologist. I was sick of negative pregnancy test. I didn’t want to wait any longer. I did not want to wait the two years that you’re “supposed” to wait. I’ve read everywhere that says you can’t seek infertility treatment unless it’s been two years or more. For me, I refused to waste those 2 years because I did not have a cycle. So in my mind, in order for me to have a child, I needed to have a cycle in order for me to ovulate. Waiting two years was just not in my plan and seemed like a waste of time. So I met with my gynecologist and that is where the dream kind of turned into a nightmare.
So now that I had the understanding and the inclination and discernment that something was wrong, my next step was to figure out what was right, what can I do, what is the next step. So even in this part and this moment, I felt like, okay, I still had hope. I still had a plan. We could just go to the doctor, figure some stuff out and then we can keep moving forward. So I decided to make an appointment with my gynecologist after a few months of trying with my husband. My Pap smear was normal. Everything looked good, so we moved on to an ultrasound. The ultrasound confirmed that they were cysts on my ovaries. I was then referred to an infertility specialist. So at this point I’m having so many mixed emotions at this point. This is where my journey was beginning. I was diagnosed PCOS, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Although I was filled with fear and anxiety, for some reason, a wave of relief actually started to set in. I felt some relief because I felt validated because I’ve always known something was not functioning in my body as it should. I felt validated in my feeling. Also, because finally what I had, had a name, it was identified. I was free from the unknown! There was something I could call it.
So my first attempt was to be placed on Metformin to control my sugar levels and also to start with Clomid. My doctor wanted to start with the least invasive interventions as possible. So we started with Clomid. I took my first dose and it did what it was supposed to do. I ovulated!!!! I was so excited. We did a couple of attempt trials with just Clomid and trying to conceive with regular intimacy. Which failed. We moved on to IUI. I had 2 failed IUIs. These failed attempts created a disappointment so deep. I didn’t think that the hurt could be any more disheartening. Oh, but it was after attempt #2. It was more devastating. It was more gut wrenching. It was more breathtaking and not in a good way. I literally felt like my breath, the wind was just kicked out of me to know that I failed again. To know that my body failed again. To know that I failed my husband again. I failed my mother again. I just felt like a failure. I felt like I let everyone down. This took me into such a dark place, a place that I’ve never been before. A hole so scary because you don’t know if you could get yourself out of those situations. You don’t know if you could ever dig yourself out of such dark places that have such deep pits. I just wanted to die. This was my darkest moment.
I turned to my faith and prayer. Church became another struggle because I heard statements like “In Gods timing”. “Wait on God”. These things although were tone helpful. Where in fact it was more hurtful. I received statements about treatment and my methods of treating infertility. That I was doing God’s work. I had to deal with church statements plus my own guilt and hurt.
I learned to journal my feelings and pray even more. I completed holistic relaxation techniques. Changing my thoughts and perceptions about my situation. I learned that medicine doesn’t negate faith but utilizes it even more. I learned my purpose from this was to help advocate for believers that struggle. “Faith & Fertility”.
ANY BOOKS, TOOLS, RESOURCES THAT HAVE HELPED YOU ON THIS JOURNEY THAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE AUDIENCE?I created a journal based on this trauma and faith needed. Something That I wished I had during my journey, I created for other women and couples. Called “Labor & Delivery: Waiting on God’s Deliverance”
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